Find a way to stay in your skin.
Hello, hello, hello! If you’ve seen my last post then you know that I’ve been taking a little break from my blog while I focus on my schoolwork. I mentioned that I would be back once the semester is over, which I will, but I figured I’d sneak in a little something before then. It’s currently 10:49 pm as I write this, and I must admit it’s going to get a bit serious, mostly because the late night hours are prime time for my inner thoughts to come out and play, both good and bad. Are you ready for it? [Bit of a T-Swift reference even though I haven’t even listened to Reputation yet. Shh, don’t tell Taylor. ;)]
So! The pretty little quote up there is actually a lyric from one of my favorite band’s songs. If you’d like to listen to it, I’ll link it right here. The song is called Elevated by State Champs. The one I’m attaching is the acoustic version of the song (the original is amazing too, but I’m a sucker for acoustics so, yeah).
I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times, but the other day I found a picture of someone who got this particular lyric as a tattoo, and as of then my perception of it has changed drastically. Before that moment I had never really paid much attention to that single lyric, and now it’s all I seem to think about.
If you’re anything like me then you understand the debilitating effects of low self-esteem. It’s not something I like to admit, but it takes a huge toll on me more often than I’d like it to. There are days where I feel super confident in my own skin, and there are others where I just want to hide under a blanket and never come out. Let’s just say it’s a bit of a roller coaster ride — one that I can’t seem to get off.
In a way, I feel like it’s the devil on my shoulder. No matter what I do it’s always there, waiting until I’m at a low point to spit out its hateful words. And you know what? It gets me every time. I’m pretty sure it kicked the angel off my other shoulder because she never seems to speak up when I need her to.
Time and time again I tell myself that I’m not gonna let the devil win. I’m not going to let it get the better of me. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done. It’s difficult to fight a battle against another person, but what do you do when you’re fighting against yourself?
How can you protect yourself from you?
If another person says hateful things about you, you do your best to brush it off. You tell yourself that they don’t really know you and they’re just saying all that stuff to make themselves feel better.
| H O W E V E R |
If you say/think hateful things about you, how do you react? You can’t exactly tell yourself that you don’t really know you because you do. You know yourself better than anyone, which makes it so much easier to tear yourself down. You know everything there is to know — the good, the bad, and especially, the ugly. All of the ammo is at your disposal.
Self-esteem and self-love are tricky things to obtain because the only person who can earn them is you. Nobody else can do it for you. Sure, they can shower you with a million compliments, but they won’t help one bit if you overpower them with all the negative thoughts circling in your head.
Roald Dahl says:
If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sun beams and you will always look lovely.
To do what he says, you can’t let the negative thoughts overpower you. If you do then the light won’t find its way through. It will be trapped beneath the darkness and cease to shine.
For the past few days, I have had that lyric on repeat in my head to remind me that I need to find a way to stay in my skin. I need to find a way to be comfortable with who I am because there is nobody else like me. I am my own.
I don’t need the angel on my shoulder to speak up against the devil — I need to do it.
I don’t need to get off the roller coaster — I need to learn how to navigate it.
There’s no doubt that I will continue to have days where I feel that I’m not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, etc., but that doesn’t mean that I should let those days get the better of me. Hiding underneath the blanket seems like the easier idea, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right one.
The battle against myself has been ongoing for a long time, and I think it’s about time to lay down the weapons and raise the white flag.
If you have a similar battle that you’re fighting then I have a few things to say to you:
- Do not tear yourself down. I know you look at your flaws and think that they are the negative parts of you, but they’re not. They are what make you special.
- Do not compare yourself to others. You are not them, and they are not you. Just because they may look a certain way or be good at something you’re not that does not take away from your worth. It certainly does not mean you aren’t good enough because Y O U A R E.
- Think positive thoughts. Let the light shine through the darkness. Focus on the things you love about yourself and what makes you, you because they are what truly matter.
- Be kind to your body. Not only physically but mentally as well. Your mind and heart are important aspects of who you are, so be gentle with them. Don’t fill them with hate and negativity.
If you’re ever having a bad day and feeling down and out, please feel free to contact me. I know what it can feel like, and I’d be more than happy to help you let your light shine.
Till next time, my lovelies