Hello again, my lovelies! I hope you’ve all had or are having a wonderful Wednesday wherever you are. It hasn’t been too long since I’ve done a post in a letter format, but I desperately wanted to do another one, so I’m going to give it a go; however, this one is going to be to someone I have yet to meet.
This letter is partially inspired by my knack of finding guys that only care about what’s on the outside rather than the inside, and partially by the beautiful version of Holding Out For A Hero by Ella Mae Bowen.
The walls around me are higher than ever, and my fingers are grasping as tight as they can while I peer over the edge, searching desperately for you in the distance, hoping that you didn’t get stuck in a tree somewhere or fall down into a ditch.
I apologize for painting such a dramatic scene. I’m sure you’re not truly stuck in a tree or down in a ditch somewhere. You’re not, are you? Cause if that’s the case then I might have to look into becoming a psychic. I’m sure it pays good money. Oh, and I should probably get you some help, too.
Anyways, moving on now. Despite where you are, I wanted to say that writing to you has proved to be quite difficult. I mean I have much more to say than that, but I just wanted to get this fact off my chest before I dive into the deeper stuff. In case you’re wondering, this is about the third or fourth draft I’ve written (I’ve kind of lost count, so I’m just guessing).
Have you ever written to someone you’ve never met before? If you have then you might understand my struggle. Unless you’re perfect at this kind of thing and can get it done in one shot. For that I commend you. Great job!
Although, there’s always the chance that we have met, and if that’s the case then I guess I should be better at this. You know what? I’ll let you decide for yourself whether I’m good at this or not. Don’t worry I won’t be offended. I promise.
Okay, here we go.
You are out there somewhere. You may be single, you may be in a relationship, hell, you may even be married. Either way, you exist, which is enough for me at the moment. You’re a little slow at finding me, but that’s okay, I forgive you. To be honest, I’m a little slow at finding you, too. It’s a two-person job, so I won’t put all of the pressure on you.
I’m quite shy and a tad bit awkward, so I’m not the best at initiating conversations with guys. I realize this isn’t very helpful because it’s kind of hard to meet someone if you can’t talk to them. If there’s a chance that I’ve passed you or even sat next to you, I apologize for being quiet and reserved. Maybe one day I’ll build up the courage to say hello.
Again, I don’t want to put all of the pressure on you, but I might need a little help. We could always meet each other halfway, right? That sounds pretty fair. Or you know you could go about 70% of the way and I’ll do 30%. Kidding. I promise I’ll try harder.
I’ve read some letters like this before that were written to the guy who loves me next, and I can’t help but feel kind of silly. If I were to title mine it’d be something like to the guy who loves me first. I didn’t scare you off, did I? I hope not.
If you’re still reading then I’m sure you realize that I’ve never been in love. It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s not something I’m ashamed of either. It’s just something. I haven’t met someone who I felt that deeply for yet, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of feeling that way. I know I am because I care so deeply for my family and friends and I love them with all of my heart, so I can only imagine that I can open up my heart to you as well.
I haven’t had a typical relationship. I have had little flings that burned out before they even began, mostly because of those walls I mentioned earlier. They’re a blessing and a curse. They’ve driven off a few guys, but by doing so they’ve showed me that I should wait for the one whose willing to knock them down and stand beside me in the aftermath.
Maybe you have walls, too. If you do, just know that I will do the same for you. I will help you escape their confines, and I will gladly stand beside you in the aftermath. I want to discover all that you keep hidden within them. Tell me your secrets, your dreams, your fears, and everything in between. I want to know everything that makes you, you.
I have so many different ideas of who you are and how I’ll meet you (whether for the first time or once again), but despite what my mind creates, I know that you’ll be perfect.
You may not think of yourself as perfect, but you’ll be perfect to me. You’ll be the person I can share everything with. You’ll be the person I can hold onto whenever it feels like the world is crashing down around me. You’ll be the person I can do absolutely nothing with and still have the best time. You’ll be the person I can love with my whole heart.
And hopefully I can be the same for you.
You’re out there, I know it, and I want you to know that I’m out here, too. It may be days, weeks, months, or even years until we meet, but I won’t lose hope. I’ll be waiting.
I’m holding out for a hero who I hope is you.
By the way…
Due to my post about Las Vegas, I didn’t post the latest installment of my Music Monday series. I thought about double posting but decided against it, so it will be up next week.